Well I am at my 25 week point right now and thought I would give y’all an update.
Right after my last post we had to go to a cardiologist to have a fetal echo done on our little girl. It is standard procedure for children who show signs of down syndrome. I told her to be good because when we had the anatomy sono done she was moving all over the place, guess what she actually listened 🙂 hopefully it is like that her whole life 🙂 Well anyways when we got there we showed up late because well we got lost, but thankfully they were okay with it. They were nice enough to let us have a special time because when they scheduled us the first time they did not realize that the doctor would be out of town. Three phone calls later we finally got an appointment at 8 am which usually all their appointments are in the afternoon but she said because she didn’t realize she was going out of town the day I was scheduled and I couldn’t call of work again (i had already requested the original day off) she came in early after she taught a seminar over at the college and made a special appointment for me, which was extremely nice because I was already freaking out hoping my baby’s heart was Okay. The doctor ended up being very sweet, she really enjoys her job because she could stop taking pictures of the baby’s heart. She kept saying look at that perfect something, it was medical talk and even though I know a lot of people in the medical field doesn’t mean I understand the language 🙂 Our little one was doing a perfect job at staying still except when she started having the hiccups, poor girl, though it is kind of cute watching her move. So we got the good news that her heart is in tip top shape and nothing to be concerned about which after holding my breath the whole time I could finally breathe again. The only other major appointment we had was with a high risk pregnancy doctor who also wanted to make sure everything was okay, so we had another ultrasound done and he also said things were looking good. He let us talk to a geneticist and gave us some information of groups around the area of people who have children with down syndrome. He said that after the baby is born they are going to do a simple blood test to see if the down syndrome was hereditary (aka Johnny and I carry the genes) or if it was just something that just happened. If Johnny and I carry the gene there is a risk that if we have more kids that they too might have down syndrome. They suggested again that I get an amnio but like I said in my last post I really do not want to. At this stage in my pregnancy it could cause early labor and that could mean bad news for baby. Johnny wants me to also but I think it is because he just wants to know for sure instead of the waiting game. I mean I don’t blame him I want to know too but at the risk of harming baby I would rather wait. The doctor also mentioned something about non-stress stress testing later on in my third trimester, they want to make sure babies heart rate stays regular and such because of apparent higher chance of still birth for children with down syndrome. Great another thing to try not to stress about.
Planning for a baby can be hard too. Right now we live with Johnny’s parents and to be honest it can be kind of stressful, not only for me but I know it is for Johnny too. We got offered an apartment space in my Aunts basement to live at for free until we get on our feet again. The thing is it is in Greenville, and there is another dilemma that is making me second guess going. I really want to move into a place with more space but I want to be with my whole family, and some people might not think this but I do, my animals are my family too. I finally got my dog away from my families house where she wasn’t treated properly to the point where she was skin and bones, practically fur-less and also they barely took her outside. Now that I have her she is getting her fur back and gaining more weight. I am finally getting her on the right track and now I may not be able to keep her…She keeps me from being depressed, she helps me through things I know it sounds weird but whenever I am sad she knows and comes to me and gives me kisses on the cheek then just cuddles with me till I feel better. People think I am being selfish and not thinking about my little girl but the thing is I am. Once I found out she has a very high chance of having down syndrome I started doing research about down syndrome kids and animals because I didn’t want to bring Brittney into the picture if it was gonna be harmful for her but all the research I see is saying that having a family pet can be beneficial to the child with down syndrome by building confidence and responsibilities. Brittney is small which is helpful in the younger years of life. Its a difficult decision to make (moving into a bigger place and splitting my family up again, or staying here where my family can stay together), and I have until the end of the month to make it. All I can do is pray about it and let God show me the way. Also if Johnny gets a job up here soon then its gonna be hard to move and have the feeling of not knowing if he can get one down there is weighing on me.
My mom keeps telling me that I should talk to people to get things off my chest but its the talking that hurts and brings up more stress. I mean writing isnt heard its the talking that does it for me. Actually saying my concerns out loud makes me get all emotional and its hard. This whole situation is hard. I mean I am 23 expecting my first child and she is most likely going to have down syndrome, there also may be a chance that Johnny or I carry this gene and if we have more kids that they too will have down syndrome. But as the sayings go God gives us tests so we can have testimonies and God gives us things we can handle. So here it is with this blog I am keeping my testimony together so that I can share it with the world when I have all the details, aka when my baby girl gets here. 🙂 well It is time for me to go, I have to get ready for work tonight. I will right soon I promise 🙂
Love y’all and thanks for listening…well reading 🙂